Loyalist Conversation

I am most like Jonathan Boucher.
Me: Hi.
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: Hello.
Me: How is it going?
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: Good. So how's teaching going?
Me: How do you know I teach?
Other random loyalist who I am talking to:Oh, no reason...
Me: Do you stalk me?!?! (Stands up.)
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: No, I just went inside your house and stole your diary.
Me: You WHAT?!?!
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: (Pulls out diary.) So you like this girl named Emma, she lives on Washington street. Sad. Seriously, dude, this lady's a maniac. And let's she, you gave her daises, oh, she ditched you yesterday, have fun with that!
Me: (Snatches diary.) Why'd you take it in the first place?!?!
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: I was bored.
Me: YOU WERE BORED!?!? DID YOU TELL ANYONE ABOUT WHAT WAS INSIDE?!?
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: No, I just tweeted it out to my 584,234,653,183 followers and maybe posted it on Instagram and Facebook.
THIS PART OF THE PLAY HAS BEEN REMOVED DUE TO IT BEING TOO VIOLENT FOR YOUNGER READERS AND ACTORS
Other random loyalist who I am talking to:  Ok, I'll delete the tweet. It's only been on twitter for about a week anyway.
THIS PART OF THE PLAY HAS ALSO BEEN REMOVED DUE TO IT BEING TOO VIOLENT FOR YOUNGER READERS AND ACTORS
Me: Ok, I'll get back to the interview has soon as I put my boxing gloves away.
Me: Ok, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: Deleting the tweet for the sake of my life.
Me: Not in the interview!
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: Ok, I'll leave it on twitter for another hour during the-
Me: Ok, delete it I will wait!
 Other random loyalist who I am talking to: Ok, done.
Me: Ok, ask me a question now over a nice snack. (Stands up and goes to the kitchen.)
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: How do you feel now that this Emma has replied to the facebook post and says you're a fart bucket?
Me: She did!?!?
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: On Instagram AND Facebook, and... (Scowl comes across my face.) Oops.
Me: Here your snack, a knuckle sandwhich!
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: Ow! Ok! Ok! Sorry. Anyway, how is teaching?
Me: It is well. The kids are nice and they have school about this time of day! And I like this time of day! Holy smoke! I FORGOT TO GO TO WORK!
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: It's Sunday!
Me: Thanks Sherlock, your a genius! (Sarcastic voice.)
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: Ok, I hear you're a preacher.
Me: Yes, it is a wonderful job.
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: Is your antibiotic colon the product of your berserk pituitary gland?
Me: What?
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: Is your antibiotic colon the product of your berserk pituitary gland?
Me: What does that mean?
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: Is your stomach the reason you're crazy?
Me: I'm not crazy!
Other random loyalist who I am talking to:Yes you are!
Me: No I'm not!
Other random loyalist who I am talking to:You are! Totally!
Me: Someone's asking for trouble!
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: If you stop I'll give you a donut!
Me: The loyalist drives a good bargain! (Takes donut.)
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: Ok. So what does a preacher do?
Me: I kind of help run the church meetings.
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: They take place on Sunday, right!
Me: Right!
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: Around this time, right!
Me: Right!
Other random loyalist who I am talking to:The whole church is waiting for you, right?
Me: Right!
Other random loyalist who I am talking to:So you might get fired, right?
Me: OMG I just figured out I have church today! Right now! They are waiting for me. I probably will get fired!
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: That's what I just said.
Me: Seeyougottagogoforkinggeorgethreeherockswhateverseeyouthanksfordonut!
Other random loyalist who I am talking to: Ok...