Just Write

 I'm being told that I should just write but I don't know how to do that. I know my first draft is supposed to be garbage but I don't... I still don't have anything to go off of. I guess I'll look through my ideas list and see what intrigues me. I guess, if I don't have an intriguing idea, where do I go even? Then I just don't have anything to go off of.

I need to find it interesting.

I hope I don't have COVID; I feel free out of it.

I could write a story about markers again. I'm not sure if that protagonist works. The premise is really interesting.

What's an in-animate object?

Idk.

Do I have a fantasy to live a certain life?

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Jake who could write lots of words.

If there was a girl who could control people after a kiss, there's a lot you can do with it. But how would it start? How would you set that up?

Maybe I can start with an ending. Plotting. Idk.

Meow.

Aaaaa

 Aaaaa, aslfkfjslfasj3flkkasjklafsjlfsajfsajlskfksafffffffffffffff.... I swear I didn't type 3 what the heck. Oh well. AKLSJLAIWJWIDJIWJAKSLLASKCMSLKA I am just typing, anddddd procrastinating... Ideally I'd do YouTube but I really don't feel like it. I don't feel like I can do it or it will be worth it. I just gotta break the ice at some point. Maybe tomorrow.

Music

 Something that Atomic Habits wrote about was making tasks more desirable. Maybe I can listen to music while writing, as long as it doesn't impact/stop it. I think it's okay. But I guess I'll wait one more day just for the sake of it, I think I might feel like I cheated if I stopped now.

It feels weird writing without headphones

 Guess I just wrote it in the title. But yeahhh, I'm starting to write notes and it just feels so weird and different. I'm not sure if making a habit of listening to music while working is good or bad. Hmmm. I miss it but I don't know if I should keep things how they are. If I did start listening to music again while writing, I'd almost certainly have to do that from now on.

Read Atomic Habits

 I just read Atomic Habits this morning and it was cool to finish a book. On top of that, it was really interesting, and I feel more motivated to pursue my goals. So I'm going to type out all my notes and evaluate, but man, I... I miss music lol. I think I'm going to have Brawl Stars be my reward for running and then music be my reward for YouTube videos. And maybe I'll let myself listen to music from time to time. I think I could technically live like this if I wanted to, but I don't. The question is, how much of this dopamine detox am I going to retain? I think I've done it enough to where I could stop now and be okay, but I might just go to tonight for the sake of it. I don't know if it did anything, but I think I will try and stay off of my phone more from now on and off of social media for the most part.

I will also try and do one thing at a time, so only music when I'm doing nothing else, and I'll try and stop that from being addicting, and then when I'm eating, I only eat, which has been really weird but doable. If I was to go on my phone when eating, I would feel self conscious now, like a slave to my phone. Besides, there's nothing on my phone to do besides... Well, there's Brawl Stars, Pokemon Go, Discord, and Safari basically. If I can hold off, I can just be off of my phone less.

I guess, I don't really know what I'm doing this for and where my life is right now, but I'll finish up the dopamine detox today. Maybe I'll crack and play a song, I think it's okay. I just don't know if I want to restrict music to only after finishing a YouTube video, might be too intense. But the Atomic Habits book has some great strategies and at the end of the day, I just don't want to be addicted to music and I want to fill my life with tiny, meaningful habits that help me become someone that I want to be.

A

I don't know what to do right now lol. I wonder what I would do normally. But yeah, I miss music. And I miss blogging daily for Animal Jam.

Bored

 I am kind of bored. I know only boring people are supposed to get bored, but I banned myself from things I want to do. I also have things I need to do that I am avoiding, maybe I'll do them at some point. I guess I will go clean my room. I don't know what I'm doing. Like, when will I start seeing benefits? I don't even know if this will do anything. Oh well.

Just read a cereal box

 I don't know what I want or what I'm doing. I played Brawl Stars today for probably... 20 minutes, Minecraft for 1 minute, watched a 15 minute My Singing Monsters video, and played some games with my girlfriend. So I'm still doing a lot. But I drove an hour without listening to music, ran, and I ate Cheerios without anything to read or watch... So I looked out on the road and I read the cereal box. It's crazy. I guess I don't know if I'm actually benefiting from this yet but I will keep at it. I have stopped My Singing Monsters, and right before anniversary month, so that's unfortunate, but I think it will be okay. Besides, the new update calls for a lot of work, which would be fun if I was maxed out in the game, but I am not, and so the update wouldn't really affect me if I was playing. Anyway, not sure what I'm doing today, maybe I'll clean my room or work or something... I need a job lol.

Waiting

 Well, I am at my girlfriend's house and I just drove like an hour without listening to anything. In complete silence. Alone. I guess it wasn't complete silence, but this is crazyyy lol. Now I am waiting for her to get off of a Zoom call so yeah. I have time to write. But what should I write about?

I want to write a really good story. I am envious of movies that do things really well. I feel like I can do it, and I'm getting close. I don't know if I should study more. Oh well, this is a post.

This is difficult

 Just did an entire Zoom class where I participated the entire time. It was difficult but I am proud of myself. But now, I am waiting for my mom to get back with the car, and I am not playing any games. I read a book, which was fun, in theory that's dopamine but it's fine, and ate junk food. But now I really, really want to just listen to music. Maybe I'll crack. Idk. Listening to music while driving would be nice. I have to drive for an entire hour.

I guess I can think about my writing.

Lol

 I find myself looking for my phone. I have 25 minutes before class, and I have to put on a shirt and brush my teeth and maybe eat. But like, right now, I'd normally check Minecraft, play Brawl Stars, or just check my phone. My brain just really wants to do the thing... And I'm holding back. Will go eat now. I guess this is sort of working, but I don't really have a time frame. My initial goal was a week, am I going to try and avoid all these forever?

I think music will have to come back. I love music. But YouTube? What if I could quit watching YouTube? That would... Probably be good to be honest. Honestly... Maybe that should be a goal. But I'll see if I can go an entire week while following this as best I can. There will likely... Well, I shouldn't say there will be incidents because maybe then I can justify them more. But when seeing my girlfriend and stuff, I will cheat a bit, but I'll just try and follow this the best and most reasonably that I can.

My Minecraft jobs limit is off cooldown by now I bet. I can get money on the server, and to be honest, I'm not really eager for that, I'm not close to buying anything cool, but it's weird. I will be forgoing progress on the server on purpose. Here we go. Okay, time to eat. Also this is crazy, I don't know if there's a blogger app but maybe I need to have that so I can just blog constantly. Would it be super bad if I got dopamine addicted to blogging? Probably not as bad as what I had before, but I do want to watch that. I don't think it's bad on laptop, but if I'm pulling out my phone constantly, that is something that I'm trying to avoid. Okay, time to eat for real lol.

Wow

 Okay, so this is like my 4th post today technically, and I'm really tempted to watch YouTube. I have glanced at one video of the new update footage and that's it... And I had to do it in a new tab. Removing the account that had all my YouTube watching stuff was a really good call, because it's a lot more work to get back to it. Anyway, I am just going to write every time I am tempted. This will be my new dopamine machine... As it was back in 5th grade, perhaps.

Okay

 I just finished My Singing Monsters, the new update is out and it looks cool but... I think I'm okay. I undownloaded the app but it's still in my library, so we'll see. I guess I will go run, shower, and prepare for class at 1. Hopefully I'm not doing all this too late. I am scared but I really want to screenwrite, publish a book, hit one million subscribers, and be financially secure. And be satisfied and happy.

Part 3

 You know what. As much as it stings, I can maybe go without My Singing Monsters. It's so fun but it's kind of work, you have to collect and it's a pain. I don't want the game to go down at all but I think it's doing well so it's okay.

Yay	Nay
Writing and journaling Eating healthy-ish Running Cleaning YouTube work Reading	Games No watching YouTube, Netflix, etc. Music Reddit Cheats A touch of Brawl Stars and MSM maybeeeee Idk Pokemon Go? Discord? Collect keys on IML

I know you guys have to highlight to see the chart but oh well. Let me think about my cheats.

Brawl Stars

Pokemon Go

My Singing Monsters

Discord

Minecraft

Unhealthy Food

Checking my phone

Let me try to limit these. No My Singing Monsters. I also just went camping and honestly the break helped. Limited Pokemon Go. Only keys on Minecraft. Only a bit of Brawl Stars.

I think I have too many cheats. I mean, honestly, maybe I'll just drop PoGo unless it's with my girlfriend, or maybe just not at all. Okay.

No MSM, no Pokemon Go, limited Brawl Stars. So what if it looked like this.

Brawl Stars

Minecraft

Unhealthy Food

Checking my phone

If I can stay off of Brawl Stars midday and night, maybe one match at night, only do keys in Minecraft, food doesn't matter to be honest as long as I stay bored, and then just stop checking my phone midday unless I NEED IT for a purpose, ooh, that's good, then yeah, that's fine.

Okay, so my dopamine detox will be free of addictive behavior, besides light Brawl Stars and Minecraft keys, and yeah. We'll see how this goes. It might collapse. And it's annoying because I won't see the benefits anytime soon, but hopefully it's worth it and I stick with it. I can at least blog. I can write all I want, so maybe I can finally do that.

Dopamine detox part 2

I think the hardest thing about the dopamine detox is that I'm not ready to let some things go. I enjoy Pokemon Go with my girlfriend... I guess I could stop it. I don't really enjoy it as much at the moment.

Yeah, let me talk about my cheats. With dopamine detoxes, you are supposed to reduce addictive dopamine sources. YouTube and Reddit will be hard, but I can see myself doing it, and I look forward to those. The biggest problems will be:

Brawl Stars

Pokemon Go (has an accent but I don't care dasjlfsajflasuisa)

My Singing Monsters

Discord

Minecraft

Unhealthy Food

Music

YouTube (putting it on here now)

Checking my phone

Let's go through them all.

Brawl Stars has been my favorite game in the past 4 years. It has a great balance between monetization and gameplay and the team is like amazing. I am worried it's about to see lots of monetization as it's been very free to play friendly but we'll see. I suffer less as a paying player, but when the game sees less attention then that affects me. Anyway, I am unwilling to give up Brawl Stars. I have a fear of missing out on exclusive cosmetics, which I have gotten consistently since December 2018. I will plan on checking this every morning, but still setting limits. No pushing trophies unnecessarily, like I did this year for Shelly and Tick and Janet. No mastery pushes, you already did that. I've had my fun. I will just play it for my Starr Drops and that's it, like 20 minutes in the morning, likely more unfortunately. It will be a tough balance, and at this moment, I think I have to risk being more unhealthy to stay with it. It's like sunk cost fallacy but I also really enjoy the game. So I'll still go for it, and if I'm lucky, it will be a healthy morning routine that doesn't intrude. I can use it to resist other temptations maybe. Idk.

Pokemon Go has been... A wild ride. At college, I play it much more, so I'll see if I can... Idk. I don't know what will happen. I actually really enjoy it from time to time, and with my girlfriend. And I have a lot of storage to organize. I think I will... Just see what happens, try not to play it too much, but it also gets me out of the house, so I don't know. I will definitely play special events still, so I think it's still here to stay. I think the problem with Pokemon Go is when I just check it constantly. Like, oh, let me check the Pokemon at my house. And it's also a problem at the store. I check it whenever I go somewhere, and I don't like that addiction. So will just try to improve, but I think it could be messy and interfere with things.

My Singing Monsters just released a new update as I'm writing this, like, I watched the video in the middle of the post. It's a new Celestial Island holiday event, and it looks hype. I have recently, like, as of 2 months ago, gotten addicted to My Singing Monsters on Steam. I had gotten really, really far on the mobile version and gotten bored, but this new account feels fresh and fun. I am almost about to get my first Celestial, the last Repatillo I need is done tomorrow morning. But like... Do I need this? I think... I could quit. My Singing Monsters is super fun but I've also had my share of fun... I am enjoying it though. So like... I don't know. If I deleted it, I think I could, and it would work, but it might sting too much at the moment. At the moment, unlike most of my other games which I just deleted, I still have it downloaded. If I keep it, I will check it twice a day, maybe three times... I hope I stop checking it three times a day or more, it's too much. I will check it after this post to see the new update for sure though. So maybe I should delete it. That's... It will be messy, but like, would I rather have one million subscribers or monsters? Maybe I could do both haha... But like... Yeah, I think this may have to go, but I'm not ready, so I don't know.

Discord is another thing. I just unpinned it for the first time. Discord isn't really... Something I notice, but I spend a lot of time on it, and I want to stop going onto it for the sake of going onto it, or because there's nothing else going on. I moved all the Animal Jam servers to a lower folder so I can stop looking, and it's sort of working. Almost. The big problem is my Minecraft friends are still online and they will suck me back into things. So I will try to resist playing more MC while still interesting. It will be a bit more social media, but hey, just trying to do better than before. Maybe not as scary, but it could still suck me into things and out of Discord, YouTube, and Reddit, Discord still is on my phone and has notifications and stuff. I need to limit notifications as much as possible, but on top of that, I need to stop checking my phone, and that's the real problem with Discord. It keeps me checking my phone and on my phone. I want to stop checking my phone so much, even if it annoys family members and friends who want to contact me. I have to check it so often, it's like a slot machine I now know, and I want to relinquish that control. So I don't know what will happen with that. Just talking about checking my phone now, but I really will check my phone still. It's just a part, and it's hard to balance. But by deleting apps and having less on my phone, at least I will hopefully do better than I am now.

Minecraft will be the hardest thing, and I am trying to stop now while I have a breathing period. Two weeks ago, I would've said no way, but the game has slowed and I have a shot. I will still collect keys each morning and that's it. It will give me dopamine, but it won't be mindless, I will go on with a purpose and I think I can manage it. Just hope it doesn't ruin the dopamine detox too much. The biggest problem is if I get sucked in by new events on the server, when the nether was released I played sooooo much and honestly it was fun, but accomplishing my dreams and goals would also be fun.

Unhealthy food is something I don't really want to talk about, but basically, I just filled our pantry with a ton of unhealthy food, and I need to eat it. So... I'm going to try to stick to Cheerios in the morning, and eat healthy food for meals, and then maybe I can have a little bit here or there... Idk. I will probably eat unhealthy. But I will try to see if I can prevent it from ruining the detox. Maybe I can just stick to Cheerios in the morning and then that will be enough. Idk.

Music is going to be hard. I got addicted to K-pop as of... September, and now I have like 70 songs probably that I like. A band released a new album only like... 2 days ago, and I love some of the songs, but I want to try and do this all the way as much as I can. I am addicted to music, and even though it doesn't seem as bad as other behaviors, I can't study without listening to music and I haven't in... Ever basically. So I want to try. I am not listening to music right now and it's crazy. I guess I am doing the dopamine detox, up until this point I wasn't sure if I wanted to try because of how much I give up but I am going to try it.

YouTube will be hard, and that includes Twitch. I love watching speedrunners on Twitch, and some of the content on YouTube is just fantastic. Maybe, MAYBE I'll watch a YouTuber with a purpose, or a specific video, like MPG's reaction to the new My Singing Monsters update, but I want, want, want to stop just checking YouTube and trying to find videos to watch. There are endless videos to watch and that's when it goes from watching with a purpose to mindless scrolling. Reddit was like that, I used to only look at specific things and it just sucked me in. To be honest, when I only use Reddit for Pokemon Go I am still scrolling mindlessly and just seeing what is up with that game. Rarely do I actually look for a specific article or something. So yeah, bye bye to these, will be a big change but I'm ready to give it up. Twitch has been mindless for ages.

Let me rank them from easiest to hardest. If I had to go cold turkey on all of these today, here's what I would give up first to last.

YouTube

Checking my phone

Unhealthy Food

My Singing Monsters

Pokemon Go

Minecraft

Music

Brawl Stars

Discord

Minecraft

YouTube

Eh, that's not really right, I can't even think straight right now. I am going to check the new My Singing Monsters update, and then my partial dopamine detox begins. Does it even count if I have all these things though? Cheats are: My Singing Monsters, Minecraft, Pokemon Go, Brawl Stars, Discord, and technically checking my phone. Ideally you would have no phone for a week but I have a girlfriend and stuff. But I'll just give this a start and see what happens. The main things is that all games should have a purpose, where I check them for one purpose and THAT'S IT. I want there to be downtime where I am bored and tempted to do addictive things but can't. If one of these takes the place of that downtime, that's where it's a problem. More to say and think about but let me end this and do classwork too. Peace. Just wrote a lot wow.

Why am I doing this?

Well, here I am again, with a second take.

Last time I tried posting daily on this blog, it was almost a year ago, about 8-9 months. I was trying to organize everything and I ended up getting addicted to Animal Jam. So that happened. I'm almost at the tail end of things, I just need to give some of my big items to others so I feel less connected and pressured to the game.

I am going to try a dopamine detox. At least I think I am. I just deleted Reddit, YouTube, Clash Royale, and many other games off of my phone. I haven't had Clash Royale off of my phone for probably... 6 years, maybe for like a week at one point. I am just trying to get less addicted to things and get my dopamine from better places.

Here is a chart I just made.

Yay	Nay
Writing and journaling Eating healthy-ish Running Cleaning YouTube work Reading	Games No watching YouTube, Netflix, etc. Music Reddit Cheats A touch of Brawl Stars and MSM maybeeeee Idk Pokemon Go? Discord? Collect keys on IML

So... Here's the thing. I just want to clear my brain of everything I'm addicted to and live life. I could cut out more... Idk. Let me share what I am most prepared for and worried about, or just go through each one.

I want to write and journal, like I am here. It will get me writing and help me write a book or screenplay this year. I want to eat three meals a day instead of two, and eat healthier if possible. I might cheat a bit though, everyone online says not to have junk food with dopamine detoxes but I might still have it slightly.

Running, I want to run everyday for 10 minutes. I have been doing it for about 5 days now with one break and it's been alright.

Cleaning is just an option.

YouTube work is the biggest thing, I want to do better on YouTube, and if I clean up my life, I can do that. Also reading is an option, we'll see.

Let's talk about the biggest stuff, and this post is just so messy, but I don't care.

No games. I have been addicted to a variety of games for... My life, but it's really just gotten out of control since the beginning of 2022. So that's a year and a half that I've sort of lost. Games would be all I think about for the most part. The biggest problems are Adventure Communist, Clash Royale, Storm Wars, Town of Salem, Clash of Clans, Paladins, and more... I guess. I just get addicted and it just sucks up all my time. Oh, and Minecraft and Animal Jam. Actually, let my qualify. Minecraft, Animal Jam, and Storm Wars are the biggest culprits. I love all of these games but they just haven't suited my goals and dreams.

Storm Wars I have escaped. I was playing about 3 hours a day at my worst from summer of 2022 to late 2023. Animal Jam helped me escape it, but it was arguably worse. I got deep into Animal Jam. I wasted my entire Winter Break on it, which latched me on even more. It was all I did for certain days, and when I almost escaped and quit in February 2023, I decided to go for all pink collector's items, which was something I deeply regret. If I had quit, I could've just had the items I had and been happy, but now I have a large, unfinished collection that will never be completed, and all my resources are into it.

Luckily, I have almost escaped Animal Jam, I think I will do it. I have checked the Discord servers less. I feel lucky. At my prime, knowing what I know right now, I still don't think I could've quit. But now the damage has been done and I can.

On top of that, there's YouTube and Reddit. YouTube has been sneaky, I've never really judged my time on it but I spent the last 1.5 years on these both as well. So TODAY, I deleted Reddit and YouTube from my phone, and deleted their bookmarks from my laptop, so if I want to access any of these, I'll have to go through the steps. However, for the first time, I am willing to let these go. I have gotten addicted to many subreddits and YouTubers over the years, but right now, I'm at a point where I'm not... Addicted to any particular one at the moment. I will miss the Pokemon Go and Brawl Stars subreddits, and a few select YouTubers, but I'm willing to let them go. The image of me just watching and consuming motivates me.

I was watching a YouTuber called Hyphonix who is probably the person I watch most now, and I will miss him, maybe I'll pop in at certain points when he streams. Probably not, hopefully. But he was talking about how much he profits off of TikTok, but also how toxic the app is. People just scroll, and scroll, and mindlessly consume and waste their life away. I have always felt glad that I never got TikTok, but I am now aware that I still have been suffering from the same things. Reddit, YouTube, Storm Wars, Animal Jam, and Minecraft are my TikToks.

I haven't talked much about Minecraft, and that's because I recently joined a survival server and got very addicted. I was playing 5 hours a day back in May, and for a week in June, I played maybe 12 hours a day. It was a lot. I have lately been playing about 2 hours a day, partially because the server has slowed down. This may be my lucky break. However, I love the people in the server and I can't ditch them as easily. That's what makes things hard.

In Storm Wars and Animal Jam, I met so many people, and I have almost all of them still added if they ever want to reach out. Unfortunately, I have to let things go. And I wouldn't of let these people go back in the day, but now I can. However, with Minecraft, I can't. These people have done a lot for me and I enjoy them. So I'm going to lurk in Discord... At the risk of ruining the dopamine detox. I can't just cut things off.

HOWEVER, I can still make a play. The server will have a new update soon, and I will resist playing very much, but probably check it out. The only thing is, when the End releases, I'll be tempted to play, but I think that's okay. If I can just play Minecraft like... A bit, when necessary, that's healthy and okay. But right now, I have been grinding money for ranks, and I just decided that I don't care. The server also just feels broken right now and a reset seems possible, which worries me and makes me want to invest less time. So right now, my rules are that I can check it once a day, and claim my daily reward keys, and that's it. I can't even use the keys. We'll see how it goes, but if I just do this, then I can stock up a lot and reward myself for staying off.

Also, things like no movies or Netflix will be interesting. I watch things with my girlfriend and I watch things to learn screenwriting so we'll see. Maybe I'll just do different things with my girlfriend, and do different things with my parents. I guess that's the play.

We ALSO have no music, which I didn't think I would do when I first heard about it. I have an hour long drive to my girlfriend today, and an hour long drive back tomorrow, and it will be so boring without music, but the detox has to happen. The big thing about music is it is at the point where I have to have it while driving. So will just resist and my own thoughts will come in, and maybe I can brainstorm about writing or something. Idk.

One big worry is boredom. Everyone I see who has done a dopamine detox has noted that it is boring, especially the first few days. It is very important that it is boring, I think. But I am not looking forward to it, and I somewhat doubt that I'll be able to do it in a way.

That's all in my brain right now with this post, going to start a second one.

Happy Birthday

 Happy Birthday to me.

I don't really know why I'm here. But I want to be a screenwriter, and so I'm going to try and write a screenplay based off of Elemental's teaser trailer, a 2023 film coming in June supposedly. It's only 90 seconds and doesn't reveal the plot, but I want to challenge myself.

Here we go!